The Darkness of
Depression
To many people, having something in common with Ernest
Hemingway, Sir William Blake, Oscar Wilde, Stephen Fry or Agatha Christie would be something
to celebrate. I am in esteemed company,
or so it appears. Whilst I would love to
have a small amount of the talent for writing that those mentioned possessed,
the trait that we share is something darker and certainly nothing to shout
about. I suffer with depression.
Oh, depression? You mean you sometimes feel a bit sad? We
all get like that sometimes, get a good night's sleep, get a grip, things will
look better in the morning. Isn't that
what you mean by depression? Well, no
actually. Depression is something people seem reluctant to talk about - myself
included - because you are automatically assumed to "have something wrong
with you" and are judged by people who know little about either yourself
or the condition itself.
It is difficult to comprehend how depression can cripple
someone who is outward looking, funny, intelligent, esteemed, admired or
loved. It isn't a character flaw, nor is
it something that can be ignored. For
myself, it comes in waves normally as I am experiencing personal issues, flare
ups of pain in my health condition or when bad news is received. Simple things such as answering emails,
dealing with correspondence, keeping myself and my home clean & tidy or
doing things that normally give me pleasure like reading, painting or writing
seem so daunting that I revert into myself even more. It makes you feel hopeless, useless and you
question your role in the world and whether or not your family and friends
deserve you. You sink into a deep black
hole, so dark and black it makes you
feel that you can never climb out.
Sometimes it lasts a short while, other times it can last weeks or even
longer. But it is at those darkest,
bleakest times that a support network along with a prepared plan of recovery -
which could be medication, cognitive behaviour therapy, natural or alternative
therapies - help provide the tiny ray of light that brings you back into the
real world.
My depression is not that severe, when compared to
others. But it floors me in ways that
make me withdraw into myself and it must seem to friends and acquaintances that
I am ignoring them and my responsibilities.
I am not, but at times like that I need you to shine a torch and light a
candle for me so that I can bring myself out of the darkness and into the light
once more.
9. Richard
Denning : The Darkest Years of the Dark Ages: what do we
really know? Plus a Giveaway Prize!
